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FCE Quarterly Newsletter, December 2022

Dear Friend,

What are your plans for 2023? We hope they include setting aside time to refresh your relationship. This newsletter includes information about opportunities that FCE Leader Couples are offering — online, in-person, and self-guided — in 2023. We hope you and your partner might use one or more of these opportunities to reconnect and refresh your relationship. Read on to learn more about:

• Reducing holiday conflict through sharing stories (along with some conversation starter tips)
  

• An activity that provides a structure for a couple to create shared New Year’s Resolutions
  

• A celebration of our newest Leader Couple, Kirsten & Andrew, who live in Texas
  

• Reflections on how the 2-weekend online workshop in October created community without causing Zoom fatigue.
  

• FCE’s challenge: Help us expand our reach for upcoming events in 2023, including a free online taster in February and an in-person weekend workshop co-sponsored with Pendle Hill in April.

As the end of the calendar year draws near, we wish you all a blessed 2023, filled with love and adventure.

Sincerely,
The FCE Communications Team

What’s on FCE’s Calendar for 2023?

2022 isn’t over yet, but here’s what’s on our horizon.

In-Person Weekend Workshop, April 14-16 at Pendle Hill
“Listening, Loving, Learning, Discerning”.

This retreat, co-sponsored by FCE and Pendle Hill, will focus on how decision-making as a couple can affirm our strengths as a couple, how conflict around decisions is an opportunity to deepen intimacy, and how we can uphold integrity, equality, and peace-making as couples as we search for answers.

Cost is $750 per couple, which includes 2 nights lodging and 6 meals. Financial Aid is available. April 14-16 at the Pendle Hill Retreat Center south of Philadelphia, PA

A free Online Taster on February 26.
90 minute call begins at 4 pm pacific / 8 pm eastern

Join us for a 90-minute exploration of what couple dialogue is, and what upcoming online or in-person workshops will include. If you (or someone you know) are uncertain about committing to a workshop, this is an excellent way to test the waters. Registration required to receive the Zoom link.

Free Online Drop-in Dialogue times
3 Saturdays: January 14, February 25, and March 25.
The 90-minute calls begin at 10 am pacific time / 1 pm eastern time.

These drop-in dialogues are a fantastic opportunity to carve out time for a witnessed dialogue, or to offer the gift of witnessing other couples’ dialogues in community. Register to receive the zoom link and a reminder as the date(s) draw near.

Please bookmark the full calendar on our website -- we are in the process of planning other online and in-person workshops for 2023 and will update the calendar as we determine locations and leaders.

Andrew & Kirsten encountered FCE early in their relationship, when they were still dating at a distance. After taking their first FCE workshop at the 2019 Friends General Conference Summer Gathering they quickly adopted the practice of regularly dialoging. They are now married and living together in Texas with their fur-baby, Shania.

“As engineers, problem-solving is what we both do as a profession, so learning to listen, sit with feelings, and allowing space for each other to be heard have been key teachings FCE has brought to our relationship,” says Kirsten.

The couple completed the self-paced leader training in the summer of 2022. In October, the FCE Leader Couples gathered to celebrate their decision to commit themselves to the ministry of deepening relationships. Included in that celebration was the approval of a minute recognizing Andrew & Kirsten’s calling and gifts.

In April, 2023, Kirsten and Andrew will join with Mike and Marsha Green to co-lead an in-person workshop at the Pendle Hill Retreat Center in Wallingford, PA.

Couple Activity: Creating Shared New Year’s Resolutions

Psychologists tell us we are more likely to adhere to a New Years’ Resolutions if we share it with a friend. How much more powerful our motivation might be if we create our resolutions with a friend!

FCE offers a 3 step activity that offers a structure for couples to explore and make plans for 2023 together. Step 1 is to individually consider what each person wants for themself, for their partner, and for their partnership in 2023 and what it might take for those desires to come to fruition. Step 2 is to dialogue about these desires without judging their worth. Finally, step 3 invites you to jointly choose a few of these desires to focus on in 2023, now that you more fully understand why they are important.

Here’s a link to a PDF of the exercise.

FCE is searching for ways to invite more couples into the experience of slowing down and truly listening to each other. Here are some ways you can help:

• Forward this newsletter to someone who might be interested in a couple enrichment event.

  
  

• Invite a friend (or a friendly couple) to attend our free Online Taster in February. To make the invitation friendlier, let them know you are coming, too!
  

• Let us know if your Quarterly or Yearly Meeting is looking for short workshops during their gatherings. We have several Leader Couples who are willing to travel to give “taster” sessions.
  

• Ask your local Meeting or church if they are interested in supporting couples in their midst by hosting a meeting. All it takes is 4 to 6 couples who are interested. You can find out more information on how this works on our website.
  

• Invite 2 or 3 couples to your home for dinner and invite an FCE Leader to join you via Zoom to talk about and demonstrate Couple Dialogue.