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Hi loves!
Before I get to today's topic, I'm so happy to announce that RELEASING 2023 is this weekend!
RELEASING 2022 is a virtual retreat to let go of the ish we need to let go of from 2022, celebrate and honor what is celebration-worthy from 2022, so we can create closure and make space for our our desires and dreams for 2023.
It's THIS Sunday, January 15th, 12pm-3pm EST/9am-12pm PST, and if you can't make that time, you'll get access to the recording and all the materials.
Also: it's sliding scale, because I want it to be as accessible as possible.
Here's the link to learn more and enroll: releasing2022.wordpress.com
And of course, if you have any questions, please reach out!
Does the urgent crowd out the important?
Even though it’s been off the air for a long time, the West Wing is still one of my favorite shows.
There was a line in one of the later seasons where Josh Lyman (swoon) says something profound about not letting the urgent constantly crowd out the important.
(For fellow aficionados, it was when he was talking to CJ about Leo, and how he, well, didn’t want the urgent to crowd out the important.)
I love this so much. Because it is such a crucial reminder.
It is really, really easy to let the urgent crowd out the important. And it makes sense, right? I mean, if something is URGENT, it needs your attention, and it needs your attention RIGHTNOW.
The thing is…at a certain point, we might find that we’re spending so much time and energy on urgent things and crisis management that we are neglecting the important things.
Things like our desires and dreams, our self-care and health, deepening intimacy, creating financial abundance, and so on. Which is not so great, because it leads to life where the attention and energy are on surviving...not thriving.
Most of the time, it's the important stuff that leads to our thrival.
We do this because we’re not so awesome at three things:
1. Figuring out what’s actually urgent. Because you know what? Some things might not actually be as urgent as we think they are.
2. Managing our time and energy and relationships so that everything doesn’t turn into a crisis that then needs to be urgently managed…crowding out the (you guessed it!) important.
3. Taking important stuff seriously and prioritizing it. Stuff like our desires and self-care and the other very very very important things we need to do in life (dealing with money, health, love, etc).
What urgent-crowding-out-the-important can look like in real life:
~ I can’t go to the gym! I have to get my oil changed before my car dies!
~ I can’t deal with this challenging thing at home/at work/in my relationship! ! I have a deadline at work and I can’t think about all that!
~ I can’t call my credit card! I have just about anything else to do!
~ I can’t make a healthy dinner! I have to clean the house because the in-laws are coming over!
~ I can’t go after xyz big dream! There’s TOO MUCH TO DO AND IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW!
I’m SURE you can remember a time (or twenty) when you put off something important because something urgent—or something that SEEMED urgent—came up.
Honey, this is NO BUENO.
Because when something we perceive to be urgent comes across our radar, self-care and dreams and other important things with fall by the wayside.
And it makes sense that we do this! Because although time is abundant, it isn’t unlimited. There are many, many, many things competing for our attention and energy.
The urgent stuff simply yells the loudest, and thus gets our focus.
The deeper reason, though, is that the important tends to be hard, or scary, or even unpleasant. And therefore it is soooo seductive to let that go and focus our attention and energy on the urgent stuff. So we can avoid the hard yet important thing...and put it off.
But this is counterproductive.
Here’s what happens happens when we let the urgent overtake the important:
: If we wait long enough, that important thing becomes PAINFULLY and upsettingly urgent, like a health issue or a money issue or a relationship issue that if we had just dealt with it when it came up, it could’ve been alleviated sooner and so much less painfully. That's what happened with my money, for example.
: If it’s a desire, it might seem to vanish because it’s not being treated as important. But it doesn't really vanish. It's still there, but depriving it of energy and effort only serves to drain our confidence and energy...rather than energizing and motivating us, as desires can so beautifully do.
: Making that important thing happen gets more and more out of reach, so it seems insurmountable, which becomes an even BIGGER drain on our confidence and energy.
NOOOOOOOOO.
The solution: Making space for the urgent AND the important.
Because some things are legitimately urgent and need to be dealt with. And we also must prioritize ourselves, our desires, our health…our very future.
It is imperative that we value our dreams and our strengths and our health as much as (or even more than) we value getting the oil changed and cleaning our house and work deadlines and ALL THAT.
Here's how to make time for the urgent AND the important:
1. Awareness. Sit yourself down and make a list of the important things and the urgent things you need to take care of. Every Sunday, I sit down and check out my "adulting" list and my "desires" list. The adulting usually has the urgent stuff, the desires list usually has the important stuff. Sometimes they intersect, sometimes they don't. Having it all down on paper helps you see what needs to be done so you can make empowered choices.
2. Harness your awareness...and schedule stuff! Make time in your life and in your calendar to do important stuff like taking actions for your desires, for your health, for your self-care...and the urgent stuff too, so the urgent stuff doesn't sneak up on you and become REALLY REALLY urgent.
3. Remind yourself that you are worthy. You're worthy of making empowered choices about your life, your time, your desires. You're worthy of thriving!
Look, this isn’t always as easy as 1-2-3. Especially in moments where the urgent yells REALLY loudly, and tries to take up all the space in your time and life.
Here's what you do in those situations:
1. Check in with yourself. Really ask: is this thing urgent? Is this MORE urgent and MORE important than me taking care of my health, or my desires, or the thing I wanted to do to make the important happen?
2. Make an empowered and aware choice. If it is in fact urgent, then go forth and take care of that urgent thing! You're worthy of taking care of it, of not having worry about it take up space in your brain and your energy.
And if it’s not urgent, make the choice to value the important things, to give them time, energy, and attention!
Again, I know this isn't always easy.
That's why RELEASING 2022 is one of my favorite programs: it helps clarify desires and dreams so life isn't just about the urgent...it's about the important.
Here's the link to learn more and enroll: releasing2022.wordpress.com
With all my heart, I hope you join me and other abundance seekers for RELEASING 2022 so you can make sure you are spending time on the important stuff like your desires and dreams! You are worthy of that!
xoxo
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