How to become your best pickle self in 2023

Friend,

Stories have the power to teach us. We seek out stories because they give us an evolutionary advantage.

In this story, you learned not to touch fire. You learned the lesson without needing to touch fire yourself.

(!!!)

Stories are amazing.

I spoke to a class of high school students about using storytelling, art, and resiliency as ways to manage trauma.

In the hours leading up to the talk, I had a lot of diarrhea and acid reflux/burping. I felt nervous. I genuinely wondered:

“How am I going to talk for an hour without burping??!”

But I did it!

I used my own experience, and concepts on resilience from the books Option B (Sheryl Sandberg) and Originals (Adam Grant) to build the talk. At the end of class, the students cartooned themselves.

One girl asked, “Is it OK if I draw myself as a pickle?”

I told her, “Yes, you can always be a pickle.”

It was good timing for her question, because then I showed there are numerous ways to depict anything--like a bear.

I drew the bear on the right when I was five.

It’s hard to move through life without wondering, Am I doing this wrong? Is it OK to be a pickle?

Before I gave this talk, I filmed myself and watched the recording back. I did this 29 times. I’m not exaggerating; I have the embarrassing evidence on my computer. As if that wasn’t enough, I asked the teacher if she would film my talk. So that I could watch it. And judge my performance more.

My efforts to improve my talk could easily be mistaken for an exercise in perfection. Before I watched the actual footage of me in the classroom, I wrote a note to myself:

“The video is not for you to use as ammunition to destroy yourself. You are not to expect perfection, you need to be human because that’s what you are.”

This is a nice note. Often, I’m harshly judging myself.

Judgment gets in the way of creating. It’s hard to withhold judgment when creating because it’s your creation. If it turns out to be garbage, then aren’t you also garbage?

Lol.

In Originals, Adam Grant suggests a focus switch: Judge your work instead of judging yourself.

At my St. Nell’s writing residency, I spoke to New Yorker cartoonist Emily Flake about this feeling of being garbage. Emily confirmed “this is garbage, I’m garbage” doesn’t go away. As such, it's an important feeling to address.

Resiliency helps fight the garbage feeling. Experts suggest resiliency starts by believing a few things:

1. You can learn from failure
2. You matter
3. You have strengths and talents to rely on and share with the world
4. You have some control over your life

Plus, one I added to the mix:

5. You can always be a pickle

But you already knew that, because you learned it in a story.

Love,

PS. For my teacher friends, and for anyone else who would benefit, these are the journal prompts I left with the students.

•   When have you failed? What did it teach you?
•   Who do you look up to for advice? Who do you think looks up to you and why?
•   What are some things you are good at? What are ways you could share them with your friends and family?
•   What makes you feel like you have control over the direction of your life?

PPS. Cartoon yourself! The formula I shared with the students is: start with a picture you like of yourself + a cartoon character you love. Here’s how I cartooned Sterling:

Email me your results. I’d love to see what you create.

They can sign up here

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Adventures with Vrah · 1101 3rd Street NW · Washington, DC 20024 · USA