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Dear Friend,
Saturday had everything.
It had waves of anxiety as I sat in the two sessions before I spoke at the Roanoke Regional Writers Conference. I have stories to go with these waves… and I’ve been learning to be both curious about the nuggets of useful info in those stories and skeptical of the rest.
It had bursts of great joy as I lived into a part of me who has been dormant since 2020 put the kibosh on live speaking crowds. I’m the kind of introvert who shrinks in a crowd and thrives when given a specific job in that same crowd. Back in front of a room full of learners for the first time in years was like remembering myself.
(Hello to the newest members of The Bigger Badder Crew, writers from the Roanoke Regional Writers Conference! Thank you for contributing to that wave of feel-good!)
(Also, shout out to Liz Long, the inspiring editor and generous community member who has done so much to connect regional writers, including organizing RRWC!)
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We were saying hi to Theresa; had I turned my phone, I might have captured a handful more of the delightful folks who filled this room to the gills.
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Saturday had coming home from the high of the conference to find an email from a trusted source saying my manuscript, years in the making, needs a whole hell of a lot of work yet. My heart sank.
Last week, I wrote this in my catch-all notebook:
Acceptance is about learning to be with all the things at once. Heartbreak & gratitude both make room for more.
Acceptance, in this context at least, includes anxiety and delight and connection and disappointment.
It includes the heartbreak and love and faith and skepticism that wove together during a conversation with a dear friend that also magically materialized on Saturday.
It includes all things Ella, one of the most challenging, adorable, cuddly, frustrating, smart pups Theresa and I have had for family. According to the SPCA papers, Sunday was her 3rd birthday.
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Yup, she is all of it.
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It’s been about 18 hours since I read the email I mentioned above – the one that was a bit of a kick in my aspiring-author gut – and writing this. Some of those 18 hours have been spent returning myself to my essentials – deeper even than why I’ve spent so much time writing that manuscript and into how it is I’m trying to spend this brief blip of a human life.
Wading belly-deep in the messages of Innerlings who see a ripe opportunity to weigh in – messages about hanging it up and laughable efforts and all sorts of all shoulds – has been a touch nauseating. It’s also been productive. I’m not fully on the shore yet but I can see it from here.
This is Humaning, this everything, this practice of making space for it all.
granular gratitude
On the side of each weekly spread in my Passion Planner is a little box of “Good Things that Happened.”
I’ve been using that prompt as inspiration for over five years now. In the last month or two, though, I’ve been working to get hyper-granular in what goes in there. I have a quiet goal of having to spill into the full left-hand column of note space at the bottom of the page.
For example, long have I listed conversations with friends, gratitude for getting to coach, and moments with Theresa.
More recently, I’ve started adding things like:
- The way the sun illuminates the pine trees in layers as it appears over the ridge of the holler in the morning
- The way the guy who frequently drives by in a dump truck when Ella and I take our mid-day walk always waves warmly
- The smiles of the FedEx drivers who seemed delighted by my struggling by Ella and out of the door just to say thank you
- A particularly well-turned phrase
I’m thinking of it as granular gratitude, an act of mindful appreciation – my latest attempt to, as one participant in my writer’s conference class so beautifully said, “To feel all of life.”
What do you find as you look at your life and its delights through the lens of wide eyes and a deep breath?
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writing go juice
My latest zine and my class at the Roanoke Regional Writers Conference co-created one another. In it, you’ll find the same outline as I used in the class, along with many of the same prompts and suggestions.
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Our farm share included South Carolina grapefruit; they’re the size of navel oranges and are less astringent than their grocery store counterparts. As I write this, one is sliced and set next to a dish of granulated monk fruit, a combo that makes me nostalgic for my mom’s serrated grapefruit spoons.
I suppose I could draw some sort of parallel to the sweetness and tartness but you’ve probably already gotten there in your mind.
Whatever blend you discover in your week to come, I hope you have something charming, like a serrated grapefruit spoon, to help it all go down.
With love and gratitude for all you are,
SB
P.S. Scroll all the way down for some mindset-setting goodness from the Dogg Father.
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Ways to engage with The Bigger Badder Crew
(and/or help me keep the lights on!)
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Coaching! With Me!
How about a recent testimonial from Karen Chase, author, speaker, brand designer?
"With SB as your guide, folks from any career, or on any career path, will find a joyful, nurturing, and strongly encouraging coach. With tangible, tactical, and often fun exercises between sessions, she helps us work on a clearer way forward to our own happy places."
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featured from the Humaning zine press
This wee zine guides you through prompts to review your 2022 and set some intentions for 2023.
$7 dollars and a whole lot of reflective goodness!
etsy.com/shop/humaning
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And you can, of course, share these emails! I make them just for you... and folks like you!
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