|  | February is here and so is our Recovery!!A big news cycle this month, lots has happened and is happening. The retreat was a fantastic success. Wednesday night meeting has decided to change to a new reader. Friday Steps workbook meeting is celebrating 10 years of carrying the message to ACA’s on the 17th of February. We hope to see you there. But first off lets get into the 2nd promise of ACA.
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Tradition Two For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
I learned to trust the wisdom of Tradition Two by watching it work. Time after time I saw the impossible happen when group honesty prevailed. Time and time again I saw unity reestablished when the oldtimers led by example, not by mandate, through group crises .
My mistake was in needing to understand this paradox. I couldn’t do spiritual thinking with a dysfunctional mindset. I simply had to accept the truth of this principle, whether I believed it or not .
No one is in charge in our ACA groups. We really are but trusted servants with no authority to govern the group. Where questions arise, we ask for a group conscience for the answer. Our group depends on participation. When an issue arises that could affect ACA, the group is called on for a group conscience decision, to determine the way the problem should be handled. As a group we want, and expect, the cooperation of our Higher Power in our group decisions.
When we make decisions, we “suit up, show up, listen, participate, and let go of the results.” Too often we try to force our own will into a decision that will ultimately be settled by the group’s vote. A group conscience is simply the vote of the group that supersedes any individual’s opinion. The discussion takes place followed by a group conscience vote. In that vote a collective wisdom emerges. The collective wisdom is better than an individual opinion, because it is much more likely to be impartial. When a group decision is made, I support it whether I agree with it or not. The group conscience is considered to be the expression of the will of God as we understand God. When presented with an issue, the group conscience is really just the way issues are considered .
We don’t have rules that delegate powers or a structured chain of command. ACA is different than our families.
“Who runs ACA anyway?” some newer members have asked.
Fortunately, our Second Tradition reminds us that our real authority in ACA meetings and service work is “a loving God as expressed in our group conscience.” We will discuss more about that group conscience, but for the moment, just note that our leaders – chairpersons, secretaries, group representatives, and the like – are not in charge. No one is in charge of ACA. We do elect trusted servants directly responsible to those they serve. They have no power. They serve the fellowship from the motives of compassion, love, and humility.
New ACA meetings are often established by one determined individual, who then assumes the tasks of the meeting secretary, treasurer, group leader, and general “jack-of-all-trades” for the meeting. In many cases, such leadership is necessary when a new meeting is just forming. When this person does a good job, the meeting soon starts to grow. Others usually affirm the person’s position of leadership simply because the founder of the meeting usually understands group operations and has the meeting key. This is where a good leader begins the transition to being a trusted servant by remembering the Second Tradition and the Higher Power as the ultimate authority in ACA. The trusted servant looks for ways to get newer members involved in group service.
In conclusion, no one has authority over another in ACA, but we do have elected leaders who serve those who elect them. They do not govern, but they lead by example. Our group conscience is a spiritual method by which a Higher Power is expressed in our discussions and our decisions. Most of our decisions are based on what is best for the most, instead of what is best for the few. Through humility, we surrender our egos and place the group first in our decisions on ACA matters. Humility does not mean we are a doormat or that we have no opinion. It means that we are willing to stay focused on ACA principles. We open the door to listen to direction from our Higher Power. We bring our Twelve Step experience to these discussions. We apply surrender, hope, willingness, forgiveness, and other Step principles in our group business meetings and group discussions. We learn discernment and see that some ideas appear good and appealing; however, they can divert us from seeking the best for ACA. We can expect the best from our decisions and get it.
Meditation Higher Power. I understand that you make your voice heard in a group conscience. I ask you to remind me that the life of my program and, therefore, my own recovery depends upon my willingness to put the group’s welfare above my own will. Where I disagree with the common view of my fellows in service, allow me to state my case honestly and respectfully. Allow me to listen to and consider the views of others. May I state my view and support all group decisions, including the ones I might disagree with. Your will, not mine, be done . |  | Promise 2Our self esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis. |  | Group News !!! |  | Sunday Loving Parent Guidebook Meeting 2pm - 3:30pm This meeting will be voting next Group Conscience (Sunday 5th March) about whether to change the opening format to what is recommended in the LPG book, or leave it as is. Come and be a part of the awesomest Group Conscience in the Southern Hemisphere. Meanwhile here are a couple of links to support your Inner Loving Parent. | | | | Also there is a LIVE “Using the Reparenting Check In” workshop happening soon on Zoom. Zooming out from Boston I believe, for anyone awake and willing. There are 2 opportunities. They are the same workshop presented a different times. The times are in Adelaide time Sunday 26th of Feb 1:30am to 2:30am and Monday 27th Feb 2:30am to 3:30am. If you are keen. Zoom Meeting ID # 831 7664 9485 Password <none> |  | Wednesday “Strengthening My Recovery” meeting, has decided by a vote to change reader to the new “Reparenting My Inner Child Workbook”, coming to the decision with a Substantial Unanimity, to proceed. This change over is expected to happen some time in March. So watch this space…….
For those wanting to get a head start, there is a zoom meeting that runs on Sunday morning, 8:30am to 10am, our time that uses this book. I highly recommend this meeting. It is a fantastic recovery tool that they have been working on for a while. They are always happy to email out the latest update of this book. |  |  | Friday night 12 Step Yellow Workbook Meeting invites you to come and celebrate 10 years of service to our community, carrying the message to ACA’s and sharing our experience, strength and hope. You are invited to attend at 6:00pm, bring a plate of food to share, before the meeting begins at 6:30. Yay!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!! | | Here is a List of all the meetings Currently in Adelaide |  | New Group forming in the Northern Suburbs. | Also there are whispers in the wind about a new group forming to support the Northern Suburbs of Adelaide. Currently looking for a venue. (If you know of one please let us know.) There is still ongoing discussions of what the reader for that meeting might be. If you are interested in contributing to this discussion and meeting, please let it be known. Watch this space for more information coming soon……
If you would like to join this discussion/action group on WhatsApp ???? Click on the button bellow…. | |  | 2023 Retreat Report. Recovery Success. | The retreat was a fantastic success, thanks to all those who attended and contributed in so many ways. Learning how to Play and have Fun in our Lives, was a lot of fun and a great opportunity to come into fellowship with other ACA’s. For me, it was well outside my comfort zone, but I felt safe and nurtured by all the beautiful people that made their contribution to creating a warm, inviting and safe environment to explore ourselves.
The food was fantastic, thanks to the catering team at Nunyara. The views were spectacular. The company was Devine. I certainly felt a Higher Power present. And the weekend unfolded with provenance and grace. Certainly greater than any one of us would be able to pull off. But not beyond the one of all of us.
Chi Gong Meditation, Play with Clay sending messages to our Inner Children, Dream/Goal orientated Collages, Frisby Golf, Making Mummies, Spaghetti towers, Card games and very competitive Ping Pong. Made for a super enjoyable weekend.
Here is what some others had to say about the weekend.
Thank you for the wonderful retreat, my Loving Parent felt thoroughly relaxed and at ease, whilst my inner child and weary teenagers, played and had fun. Heather
I loved the nourishment and joy, exploration, creativity, inspiration. I have received. It makes my heart beat at the rhythm of love, excited and joy! I am learning to play and have fun in my life and that is awesome. Simona
My Inner Child is very glad and happy to be here! Feeling love for my ACA family and the safe space it provides. I really enjoyed the theme of play and fun and loved playing with clay and creating a collage. And I love the beautiful Nunyara location, with Barry the Blue tongue and the magpies. Big thanks to the fellow travellers who organised the 2023 retreat. Anonymous
Can’t thank you enough for the wonderful fellowship, fun and relaxation, was well worth the trip and we’ll definitely be back. Love from Helen and Debbie.
That is just a few of the beautiful comments our fellow travellers had to say about the retreat. There may be some more in next months newsletter. Great to hear people got so much out of the weekend.
Meanwhile, here is a picture of the Mummies that we made on Saturday night at “The Mad Hatters Tea Party”. |  | Some people asked about the App that was used to practice the Chi Gong. It is called Tai Chi Temple and has contributed greatly to my recovery. Here it is, if you would like an accessible way to practice this beautiful medicine. Click on the picture if you would like to try the App. |  | Tai Chi Temple
The #1 app for learning the fundamentals of tai chi. Train with tai chi grandmaster Li Jian Long. Easy to follow.
A step-by-step approach to learning tai chi with authentic roots in traditional Chinese martial arts. In under two hours, you can have a solid overview of tai chi fundamentals, including correct breathing, postures and movement terminology. Have a true master of tai chi as your own personal training partner any time, anywhere. Find your flow with moving mediation.
SCIENTIFIC APPROACH This app uses a technique for teaching tai chi that has been used by Master Li now for over 30 years. He has found that students who learn the 18 qi gong (or breathing meditation) set before tai chi actually learn the tai chi much better and have a stronger understanding of body mechanics and flow in the movement.
The app follows a scientific progression of 1) short warm up 2) breathing qi gong exercises 3) tai chi basics 4) short tai chi practice forms 5) and finally the 24 step Yang style form
Eight levels give a seamless progression to learning the 24 step tai chi form. After going through all 8 levels, you can choose your own training regimen to suit your schedule. Practice and learn at your own pace any time, anywhere.
CUSTOMIZED TRAINING & PROGRESS TRACKING There is an 8 level progression that teaches basic postures, breathing and fundamentals of tai chi. After unlocking the 8 levels, you can tailor the training to your own needs and skill level. The more you use the app, the more refined your technique becomes. The eight levels give a seamless progression to learning the 24 step tai chi form.
WITH JIANLONG LI - A TRUE TAI CHI MASTER Originally from Fujian, China, Master Li is head instructor of Zhen Wu Martial Arts in Holland and Belgium and has led seminars throughout Europe, China and the US. He is senior disciple of legendary Six Harmony Grandmaster Wan Lai Sheng, former member & coach of the Fujian Wushu Team and Chinese national champion in spear. Master Li co-authored a seminal book on the use of Chinese martial arts in basic self-defense entitled Fang Shen Shu.
FEATURES - No log-ins to use the app - No collection of any personal information through social media links - NO in-app purchases, NO subscriptions
Tai chi has been scientifically proven to reduce blood pressure, improve circulation and focus by integrating mind, body and spirit. | | Book of the Month |  | Self Parenting - Learn to Love, Support and Nurture Your “Inner Child” By John K. Pollard, III
Wow. This is another classic book (the yellow book) by John K. Pollard. (The blue book is also amazing). This yellow book is all about hearing and understanding the inner conversations (that everybody has) within our minds. This simple, yet amazing, book will help you resolve your inner conflicts...through the inner parent and inner child that resides in all of us. After reading it, you will EASILY learn how to love yourself. Oftentimes, we ask ourselves, do I really love myself. Then, we learn that we do not even know how to define what it is to love ourselves. Questions like: What is an example of how I can love myself After reading this book, you will finally know how to love yourself. AMAZING!!!!!!
If you really want to "change" yourself and your life, this is the best way that I have ever experienced! When you order "SELF-PARENTING: The Complete Guide To Your Inner Conversations" (ie yellow book) and "The Self-Parenting Program: Core Guidelines for the SELF-PARENTING Practitioner" (ie blue book), you don't only get these books but also a brand new and complete system called Self-Parenting Program. I feel Dr. Pollard's other book "How Relationships Work" would also complement this program to excellence. I've been through many programs, that were all helpful in some way or another, however none of them can even accomplish what this little simple book teaches in a short 1.5 day read. Once you start the simple exercises, your inner life starts to unfold and you will start to realize how much your missed of what you really wanted in your life, but couldn't quite figure it out. This book is simple, easy to understand and a complete, mind-blowing game-changer. I read it & did the exercises 10 years ago - the change it made in my life was immediate, profound and lasting. I frequently tell friends about the lessons in this book. In fact, I'm buying one right now for a friend. Don't think this book only applies to people who are struggling; it is good for all because it clearly identifies the inner child/inner parent roles (including tool kit & road map) by taking the concept to a very real next level.
From the Author The book SELF-Parenting: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations has been completely rewritten for the millennial reader. Further information is available on Youtube and the Selfparenting website.
From the Back Cover Are You Tired of Feeling? Unhappy Angry Lonely Bored Insecure Depressed Afraid
Wouldn't You Rather Be? Happy Excited Positive Confident Exhilarated Carefree Content
Your "Inner Conversations" are the constant mental dialogue occurring inside your mind between the voices of your Inner Parent and your Inner Child. Everyone has Inner Conversations!
SELF-Parenting is the way you, as the Inner Parent, parent your Inner Child within YOUR Inner Conversations.
Your style of SELF-Parenting is based on the quality of parenting you received as a child. If your outer parenting as a child was ideal, congratulations! If your outer parenting was negative or less than ideal, then you need this book!
By using the methods presented in SELF-Parenting, your Inner Parent can learn to positively love, support, and nurture your Inner Child. You can create a new happy "childhood" once again.
John Bradshaw, Author, Bradshaw On: The Family says: "I consider SELF-Parenting to be a major contribution to the ongoing awakening about the child within us. The techniques for talking to our Inner Child are far and away the most advanced technology we have upto this time. I wholeheartedly endorse this book."
An ACoA Therapist says: "Adult Children of Alcoholics will benefit greatly by reading this book! At last, here is a step-by-step guide to improve your inner communication and your self-esteem. Healthy communication with others begins with healthy communication within yourself. My Inner Child loved it and my Inner Parent recommends it."It's Never Too Late to Have a Happy Childhood! | | Audio Book of the Month |  | The Body Keeps the Score - Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. By: Bessel A. van der Kolk Narrated by: Sean Pratt #1 New York Times bestseller
“Essential reading for anyone interested in understanding and treating traumatic stress and the scope of its impact on society.” —Alexander McFarlane, Director of the Centre for Traumatic Stress Studies
A pioneering researcher transforms our understanding of trauma and offers a bold new paradigm for healing in this New York Times bestseller
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.
| |  | YouTube of the Month | Pt 1: Lecture By Al Pesso To PBSP Experiential Group On Making New Memories
Part 1 of a January 2015 introductory lecture by Al Pesso to a PBSP experiential group in Birmingham, Alabama on making new memories.
Created in 1961 by Albert Pesso and Diane Boyden-Pesso, Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP) is the most advanced therapeutic system available for emotional re-education or reprogramming. PBSP heals past emotional deficits using unique processes called ‘Structures’ and ‘Microtracking™’ that help clients to identify emotional deficits and create ‘new memories’. These ‘new memories’ provide symbolic fulfillment of the basic developmental needs of place, nurture, support, protection and limits. With the inclusion of ‘Holes and Roles,’ the latest innovation in PBSP theory and technique, therapists learn how to provide a highly effective and streamlined approach to reducing resistance, negative transference, and somatic overload. Many aspects of PBSP theories and techniques have close parallels in recent neuroscience findings about mirror neurons, empathy, morality, and the impact of language on the theory of mind.
At age 85, Albert Pesso is one of three living masters of body psychotherapy. His contributions to the field over the past 50 years are innumerable; he has written or contributed to almost a dozen books and written more than 50 articles along with leading seminars worldwide in the Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP) mind body approach he co-founded with his wife, Diane Boyden-Pesso. Pesso was honored as the 7th recipient of the United States Association for Body Psychotherapy’s Lifetime Achievement Award during the August 2012 USABP Conference in Boulder, Colorado.
For more information about PBSP and Al Pesso go to www.pbsp.com | | |  | STEP TWO - Open-mindedness and Clarity Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity .
When I finally made the decision to break free, I writhed in the floor with emotional pain that I almost could not bear. It is only by prayer, Step Two, and the help of two sponsors that I am here and sane today. I can tell you that dependency is patient, dormant, and progressive. And powerful .
I was invited to go with a friend to a Twelve Step meeting. I thought the people were odd. I thought they all needed to go to church to find God in a hurry. As I continued to attend those meetings, I learned it wasn’t God who was missing. When I got honest with myself, I realized I went to God many times, but I was dishonest. I wanted Him to help me, but I wore a mask of perfectionism. I realized I was not allowing God, as I understand God, to help me. I was telling my Higher Power what to do. I was a little god myself, controlling and abusive. My behavior was insane . I had religion, but I had no Higher Power. Now God, as I understand God, teaches me that I’m not a god, that I cannot control anybody or anything, and that I cannot change anybody except myself .
When I first read Step Two, the notion of being restored to sanity confused me somewhat. Yet, I remained quiet and continued to work the Step and got some benefits anyway. I agreed that the insanity I practiced as an adult child in drug addiction and compulsive behaviors had actually been accepted by me as sane behavior. Being a people-pleasing male, my denial allowed me to act irresponsibly. Sometimes, I acted dangerously without comprehending another way to live .
As I remained in the program and studied the Steps, it slowly dawned on me that I had never really known sanity to begin with.
By working Step Two, I first found clarity and then sanity. I gained clarity about the level of abuse I had grown accustomed to. With such clarity, I glimpsed real sanity for the first time. I truly hoped a Higher Power didn’t exist, because if He did, I would be judged, and I would be going to hell, I thought.
My therapist said, “Just let go. If you can’t do anything, don’t do anything.”My husband told me, “You’ve had a breakdown. Leave this to someone else.”
I just did what I could do and let go. My Higher Power took over. I lost myself completely, and He took care of the problems I couldn’t .
I have seen some miracles that people in this program talk about, the coincidences that happen too often to be ascribed to chance. In the beginning I thought, “Gee, how did that happen? Wasn’t that good planning?” That’s when I came to actually believe in a Greater Power who was watching over me .
Before finding ACA, many of us believe that a Higher Power is indifferent, fake, punishing, or reserved for the true believers of the world. Step Two helps us revisit our earliest messages about a Higher Power to find out what is true for us. We make this journey with an open mind.
In an attempt to heal our dysfunctional family from the past, many of us set ourselves up as a Higher Power in our current relationships. We played God by being all-knowing or being all-flexible to control or manipulate others. We wrongly believed we solved the problems from our birth family by keeping our own homes in order. We may have even eliminated alcohol or other dysfunction from our home. Our children, who often act out in addiction or aggression, give us a clue to our failing. We unintentionally passed on our family insanity or distorted thinking.
Before finding ACA, many of us found power in acting helpless, which is a role we learned as children. This is not to say we did not experience real moments of utter helplessness as children, but as adults many of us used helplessness in a learned manner to stay in control.
We insanely knock ourselves out in relationships or in the work place, hoping for affirmation and praise, which we don’t believe we deserve. Some of us tolerate unreasonable amounts of abuse or neglect in return for meager amounts of attention. We mask our efforts to control another person by appearing helpful. We often do not believe we deserve happiness.
The lost child, as an adult, practices insanity by remaining isolated or refusing to ask for help. The lost child appears to have given up efforts to fix his family of origin. Many lost children practice “relationship anorexia.” They avoid relationships because they are terrified of abandonment, which has its roots in the childhood years. Like all adult children, the lost child experiences intense abandonment fear. As an adult, he or she chooses to limit chances for such hurt by avoiding relationships. The fear of change seems greater than the fear of isolation. Without help, the lost child passes on this fear to his or her children.
There are other forms of adult child insanity, isolation, and manipulation that we engage in, which usually leaves us feeling abandoned, angry, or confused. Yet, we try again, repeating the same mistakes. Fueled by fear, our false self discounts real avenues of help. The false self chooses to reapply old thinking and behaving that guarantees the same hurtful results we have always known in our decisions.
In one respect, Step Two implies that we had sanity and lost it when in reality we may be learning about sanity for the first time in ACA. A helpful tip in working Step Two involves replacing the word “sanity” with “clarity.” By working Step Two, we gain clarity about how our family dysfunction affects us in our lives as adults. We gain clarity about our abandonment and internal shame. Many of us find Step Two sanity through clarity.
These common ACA traits are a great gauge of flawed thinking and reacting. They include fearing authority figures, people-pleasing, judging ourselves harshly, feeling guilty when we stand up for ourselves, becoming addicted to excitement, and becoming an addict or marrying an addict. We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can rescue. We also can be the rescued. Practicing these traits is a form of insane living.
We have seen some adult children repeatedly endure one dysfunctional relationship after the next, thinking it will get better with each new person. The adult child “falls in love” again and again, ignoring red flags involving the object of his or her affection. When the breakup comes, the adult child experiences intense feelings of abandonment, which are linked to the childhood days of neglect and abandonment. Some adult children running from the pain of a relationship will create a situation in which he or she can experience a “shame hit.” Like the heroin addict who seeks a hit of heroin, the adult child seeks a “hit” of his or her shame. As odd as it sounds, many of us seem addicted to shame or abandonment. Since we grew up with an orientation to fear, shame, and abandonment, we seek out situations that recreate these feelings in ourselves.
Likewise, many adult children feel alive when they can create shame or abandonment in their lives. Adult children seem to seek the thing they dread the most because it is familiar. This is learned by living in an unhealthy home.
One of the keys to being restored to sanity involves surrendering our need to harm ourselves or to run from our feelings. We must also be honest about our actions and motives. We must name our behavior properly to avoid the delusional thinking that we are “feeling fine” when in reality we are headed for trouble.
When we settle down and listen, we begin to realize that the Power that brought us to ACA is still with us today. Where we once thought we found ACA by mistake, we begin to realize that a benevolent Power has been guiding us all along. Discovering this Power is one of the great miracles that many adult children have experienced in working Step Two and the remaining Steps. For some the Higher Power is recognized simply as loving and nurturing.
The Higher Power is patient as it seeks to help the adult child find wholeness and integration of a divided self. | |  | | Next Intergroup meeting for South Australia will be The last Thursday of the month, Thursday 23rd of February 7:00 - 8:00pm Online on Zoom Meeting ID # 87186654587 Password - serenity
There are plenty of service opportunities go around, bring your True Self. We will be sharing the reading of Tradition 2 and all the fascinating news from the groups around Adelaide. Get amongst it, back to the basics of recovery. Unity and service. | |  | Strengthening my Recovery Meditation February 4 Spiritual Bypass
“A Spiritual bypass means the person is attempting to avoid the pain that can come with working through the trauma and neglect from childhood. In some cases, the person attempts to jump ahead in the recovery process without going through the entire process. This path invariably fails or leads to dissatisfying results.”
On this day I will have the courage to use the tools of the ACA program, especially the one that's hardest for most of us - reaching out to others for help.
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