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Dear Friend,
A couple of quick reminders as we go into this squeaky new week:
1. Planning does NOT equal Catastrophizing
Planning is a form of thoughtful doing with a focus on what we hope to be our future. I hope to have a long life and so I plan my money and food and movement around supporting that hope.
Catastrophizing is a form of daydreaming that feels like certainty about forthcoming disasters mixed with magical thinking that says that anxiety now is somehow protective.
I promise you: As incredible and creative and expansive as your brain is, life is exponentially more creative and surprising in all the ways - its delivery of hardships, for sure, and also its generation of surprising delights.
2. Self-Compassion does NOT equal Permissiveness
Self-compassion is acknowledging your own imperfect humanness with the gentle, loving acceptance you might far more easily give to a beloved other in your life.
Permissiveness is allowing yourself to enact (and, often, reenact) behaviors that you know will ultimately detract from your happiness – putting off the work or eating the thing or saying the thing or what-have-you.
While we often confuse these two, thinking we must punish ourselves to motivate ourselves, permissiveness is actually a sneaky form of self-sabotage while self-compassion is a sneaky form of go-juice.
When this masquerades as that - and it often does in this complex world of ours - we inadvertently hamper our route toward bigger and badder.
Perhaps counterintuitively, the key to seeing through the disguises is right there in our feelings. Self-compassion and planning may both happen in the context of discomfort - sadness, disappointment, fear, and even guilt - and yet the way they empower us tends to lift our heads a little higher and straighten our backs a little more.
Stand tall, friend, and you'll find the way.
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other ways to engage with me
1. coaching because you have more wisdom than you're seeing
(schedule a chat to explore if coaching would be a meaningful tool for your Now)
2. humaning: zines about human things
(new ones coming out on the regular)
3. chomp & chat
(because this is your community)
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other oft-confused things
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Wishing you a week of clarity in which is this and which is that...
... which is planning and which is self-compassion...
... which is You and which is the big amorphous Them...
... because you, Friend, you know what's up.
With love and gratitude for all you are,
SB
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