"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
— Demetri Martin
"My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.”
— Paula Poundstone
"I'm a realist. l ask kids what they want to be if they grow up."
— Nat Baimel
“Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner.”
— Milton Jones
CALLING ALL AWARD-WINNING INVESTIGATIVE REPORTERS! Be like George and Roy, send your tips to tips@weeklyworldnews.com.
