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Dear Friend,
Years ago, I had a conversation…
Weeks ago, I had a conversation…
Hours ago, I had a conversation…
About feeling wronged, about wanting to change another person, about the validity of wind-whipped fiery rage.
In some of those conversations, I was the one listening, hearing about the spark that quickly turned into an inferno.
In some of those conversations, I was the one speaking, asking for clarity but really wanting affirmation – asking for an alternate perspective and really wanting, “Yeah, that other person is a problem!”
What if that person is actually a profound teacher?
This is what one particularly wise friend said to me in one such conversation, almost exactly seven years ago.
It took years of pondering this before I could understand fully enough to then turn to a client and say:
What if that person is actually a match and you, friend, are the oxygen and fuel?
In The Parable of the Match, we singe our feet searching for that point of ignition, imagining that our scorched breath is taking us toward opportunities to what? Change the match? Interrupt its path from potential to kinetic energy?
The practice, instead, is to trace the flames back into our own mind-bodies and pour the cooling elixirs of compassion and curiosity on them.
No doubt, the resulting steam can be discombobulating, and scary in its own right.
Happily, courage, like a loving pup, tends to come when called.
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other ways to engage with me
1. coaching because you have more wisdom than you're seeing
(schedule a chat to explore if coaching would be a meaningful tool for your Now)
2. humaning: zines about human things
(new ones coming out on the regular)
3. chomp & chat
(because this is your community)
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throwing it back to 2020
The fabulous crafter and catcher of stories, Diane Wyzga of Quarter Moon Story Arts, rereleased a couple of podcast episodes last week, a two-parter of a conversation she and I had back in 2020. It was a delight to record and a surprise to revisit.
You’ll hear us talking about my big transition into coaching and how it was both like uncorking a shaken bottle of carbonated joy and, at the same time, like throwing a grenade at my life.
You’ll hear us talk about the inner critics from back before I knew to call them Innerlings and was still calling them gremlins.
You’ll hear about my budding awareness of how to take a quality in myself that I felt as an invisibility cloak and stumbled into how it could actually be a superpower.
And lots of laughter. You’ll hear lots of laughter, too!
Each segment is about 30 minutes; I hope you’ll give it a listen!
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Over the weekend, we had a couple of interactions that reminded me of the importance of fighting my natural, introverted impulse to stay home whenever possible.
One involved Theresa buying a balloon hat from a busker who apparently also does sideshow acts like eating fire and hammering nails into his nose. She wore it around until we were leaving our favorite local book shop and a young man asked us for a few bucks toward his lunch.
He also complimented the balloon hat; she paused only a half a beat before handing it over. His eyes got big as he took it and, when he put it on, he did an extravagant pose, a showmanship of wearing this ornate and endlessly-moving balloon creation. |
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Wishing you a week in which you also give yourself the opportunity for delightful interactions with people you don't yet know.
With love and gratitude for all you are,
SB
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For the first 9 seconds of this video, I thought it was a photo with a music overlay. Keep watching.
(I love imagining the conversation about what Kamauu or the director or whoever decided to make this video gave to the trio featured. I love watching the kiddo be a kiddo. I love watching the adults try to hold it tight and then give into the delight of the moment.)
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