Random Acts of Kindness

Some people love a runner’s high, some people love weed, some people are naturally high on their own supply. But let me tell you something - there is no drug in the world that compares to the feeling you get after being on either end of a random act of kindness (especially the giving side).

I hugely subscribe to the philosophy that the energy you put out in the world comes back to you. So as a baseline, I try my best to be a good person - but idk, I’m human, I’m messy, and no one is perfect. This past week was pretty messy for me, tbh, but that's a story for another day.

As a way to practice spreading good vibes, last fall I started doing something that made me feel really giddy: writing down my favorite quote, stuffing it in a tiny envelope with a sticker, and hiding these little joy-bombs in magazine shops throughout Manhattan.

No strings attached, no name, email*, phone number, just a tiny envelope with 100% good vibes waiting to be found by a perfect stranger.

I love the idea of surprise & delight in any context - but not knowing who the quote would reach, somehow trusting that it’d reach exactly who it was meant to just added to the delight. I mean, imagine this: you’re grumbling home from work. It was a long day. You’re walking by SoHo International News (a premier magazine shop/bodega) and say fuck it, let me just pop in.

You pick up a Monocle Magazine just to take a peek, and - what’s that? A bookmark? No … huh, what? A small envelope. With “hey, you” printed cutely on the front and an inviting “yeah, you” delicately written on the back. You look around. Me? Yeah! You. You open the envelope. You find a little evil eye sticker and a curious tiny note that says:

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

BOOM!

I’m sorry, did your day just get like 50x more magical and cute???! Even the most curmudgeony curmudgeon would see that and feel something - or, hmph away and leave it in the Monocle for the next person to find.

I am just in love with the idea of interacting with strangers in this way, not knowing who or when that little dose of magic will reach someone, but just kind of trusting that it’s on it’s way to the person that needs it. Or maybe more importantly, knowing that the feeling of leaving the note, the act itself, fills me up more than any work accolade, any gold star, any lofty goal achieved. It’s a really simple but euphoric thing to do.

I mean, think of any time you’ve been on the receiving end of a random act of kindness. Someone paying for your coffee, sending you a care package out of the blue, letting you turn in front of them at a busy intersection, getting a compliment from a stranger (the best!), even just someone taking two seconds to tidy up the props at your yoga studio - it does something different to your day. It’s an incredibly special act of connection.

And we have so much power to inject our days with more of that energy and to put that kindness and magic out into the world that I don’t know why we’re not all doing this all the time. I mean, I do - life happens, we get caught up in our own drama, of course. But the science is there - random acts of kindness have an enormous ability to lift our mood and improve mental health.

I especially love the last few paragraphs of the NYT piece, linked above:

If you are not already in the habit of performing random kind acts — or if it does not come naturally to you — Dr. Franco said to start by thinking about what you like to do.

“It’s not about you being like, ‘Oh man, now I have to learn how to bake cookies in order to be nice,’” she said. “It’s about: What skills and talents do you already have? And how can you turn that into an offering for other people?”

My love language has always been letter writing and love notes, so this is what comes naturally to me. But think about what you already love -- going to the gym? Leave a little treat in someone's locker, or bring the front desk staff some candy. You love taking walks? Leave a little love note in a stranger's mailbox. Love going to the wine store? Compliment the cashier's hair!

The possibilities are literally endless. What small random thing can you do to bring some magic to a stranger today?

Xoxo

*This practice inspired me to pilot a version of this program where I'd leave little "meet cute" dating cards around in the same fashion, but I found that it was the cards with no expectation for response that left me feeling the best.

Embarrassingly, the character I relate to the most from Mean Girls.