"I suppose Ireland is the best place in the world for directions. People will say to you, ‘I wouldn’t start from here if I were you.’ ”
— Dave Allen
“You know it’s summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.”
— Hal Roach
“I was in Ireland. I was trying to stop drinking when I was in there. I thought I was an alcoholic, but I realized I was just a moderate social drinker.”
— Dom Irrera
“Old Man Murphy was asked if he’d rather get Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s?
‘Parkinson’s,’ replied Murphy right away. ‘Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!’”
— Anonymous Dublin Bartender
