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Healing Trauma

By Fiona van Rensburg (Portal of Alchemy)



Trauma defined is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences.


Examples of traumatic experiences are being bullied, abused (be it either physical, sexual, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial or substance), having to move home, loss of their loved one (be it pets, friends, family members, job, possessions, whatever they were attached to emotionally or for security), divorce, death, natural disaster, pandemic, violence (seen or experienced), or critical medical conditions, personally or being the observer of either.


In my experience as a healer I’ve gotten to realise that my soul purposely put me through some of the worst traumatic experiences life has to offer, to deeply know what it feels like, from personally having to go through it, ‘been there, done that’. To be able to empathise and relate to others, that are going through similar experiences. To figure out how to heal from it myself and then to help others heal it within themselves as well.


Dealing with trauma is like peeling an onion. There is no quick fix. Some fear feeling the emotions that come with it, others fear crying, thinking if they start, they may not stop, yet it is a vital part of the healing process. You cannot release that which you do not feel, so by feeling you open yourself up to healing. It makes one feel vulnerable, so not everyone opts for it. There are layers of healing. As with an open wound, healing the inner layers of the skin until it gets to the outer layers and then it is done, leaving only a scar. What others cannot always physically see is the emotional scar people carry around. When people talk to me, I get to understand the emotional scarring and the wounds that have just been covered up and never been acknowledged and thus never healed properly.


Healing trauma through the stages of grieving:

  1. Shock and Denial,

  1. Shame and Guilt,

  1. Anger,

  1. Bargaining,

  1. Depression,

  1. Acceptance,

  1. Gratitude.



So, depending on where a person is along their grieving stage, I’ll adjust the healing accordingly.


We start off with shock and denial, it usually is so bad we wish to just dig our heads in the sand and hope the nightmare goes away. We live in disbelief that het happened. It is incomprehensible. But that doesn’t help, it just prolongs the pain we go through. People often say everything feels so surreal. Like they experience a period of being in no man’s land. Suspended in time, unable to move forwards or backwards. You whole world being turned upside down, everything seems to fall apart. On the other hand, some who fear the pain asks about the stages and just want to sprint through them all and think that will shorten the process, but alas it prevents a deep healing from happening, and thus prolong the grieving period.


Some clients have told me about how they took the events personally and the shame or guilt they carry for it. The self-blaming, for what could have been said or done. With the healing process it’s to ascertain what your responsibility was and what you had no control over and come to terms with it.


The stories we make of it, becomes the stories we tell ourselves, which usually are lies that we then live out, which is what needs to be corrected to heal. That is where the saying comes in, the truth will set you free. Let me give you an example. A client suddenly lost their father very unexpectedly. They would tell me if only we were there one more night, we could have helped him. Everyone going through this stage run a myriad of “if only” “could have” scenario’s in their head. And none of that is true. The truth of the matter is all our days are numbered and when our time comes, we leave. It’s a soul decision. We don’t get to see the bigger picture or understand God’s and the Soul’s plan for this life. If it is your time, it is your time, and no one will be around to save you. If it is not your time there tends to be divine intervention and someone showing up at the right time at the right place and saving you. When I connect people with their loved ones, this is usually the area where they heal the most. Realizing that there was nothing else they could have done. That the other person is happy and don’t hold anything against them. All there is, is love, and the other person wants them to be happy and live a fulfilled life. They don’t want us to be sad, they want us to continue living. Yet some find this the hardest task to do.


The anger stage is sometimes one of the stages that people who what to be good, want to skip and then again there are others that stay in this stage for a very long time. As if anger is a more acceptable emotion to feel than sadness and pain. Underneath the anger is sadness, heal the sadness and the anger falls away. The anger is sometimes connected to blaming of others. And there is no one to blame. It just is what happened. We all choose different ways of leaving the earth plane, dying. Yet the soul just steps out and still goes on. Some ‘deaths’ are perceived to be more traumatic than others, and those are more difficult to deal with and process.


That which you prevent doing, is most of the time, your point of liberation. People don’t like going there because that is where the pain is, but when you go there you can heal it and it never has to trouble you again. When you skimping over the issue, then you just superficially heal it and it comes to revisit you the next time you experience another traumatic event, with amplification of the feelings.


The bargaining stage feels like there is very little emotional intelligence. You are experiencing so much pain you just want it to stop, you would rather want to change place with others, go back to how things were, not acknowledging how bad it was. It’s difficult to be in your body. You want to escape. You want to bargain with God, with others, to change the outcomes. But you cannot. You have to get to acceptance of the cards you were dealt with. You asked for certain experiences prior to this incarnation. There is gift in this for you in this experience, that you cannot see it yet.


The depression stage can be different intensities from person to person. It feels like a part of you dies. Actually a part of you welcomes death. And untreated, you can find yourself for many years stuck in this stage. Where life just doesn’t seem worth living. But we have to find the courage that we have on a soul level and move on, find a reason to live, find our voice to speak up for others, help others going through similar. Become the victor that we truly are.


The acceptance stage is multi-layered until it’s solidified on the highest levels of acceptance and that is when gratitude is the final outcome. Gratitude for what had happened. Gratitude for the lesson in self-mastery. Until you have not gotten to gratitude, you have not yet healed it in it’s entirety.


One thing that I have learned through dealing with trauma, especially death is you cannot do it all yourself, you need someone with emotional intelligence to guide you through the process, to end up healing those wounds, seeing and appreciating the gifts they came to teach you, of how loved you are, how strong you are, how magnificent you are. Not the lies you believed of yourself of not being loveable, being weak, or not being good enough.


When events happen in your life that turns your life around, bless it. If you struggle to see what it came to show you, seek out a professional you can relate to.


We heal one step at a time. One day at a time. Life is a journey. You are not alone, we are ultimately all walking one another home. I hear you. I see you. I am here for you when you need me. You can make your booking for either on-line or in-person https://calendly.com/portal-of-alchemy . I have special rates for multiple sessions booked in advance. Talk to me, let us find a treatment plant to best help you with your available times and a rate plan that fits your pocket. +27 82 788 1413


Love and light

Fiona van Rensburg

Emotional Healer, Transformational Coach, Intuitive Empath Energy Healer and Metaphysical Teacher

What to expect when I book for a quantum conversation session with Fiona

I’m based in Pinetown, Durban, KZN for in-person sessions Google Maps link:

https://goo.gl/maps/FoLFB6XvAkcwTo3D8


Individual sessions on offer:

* Quantum Conversations & Spiritual Guidance

* Couple's Spiritual Counselling

* Alchemy Healing

* Chakra balancings / Reiki

* Past life regression healing

* Hypnotherapy and journey work

* Spiritual Development Program


Group work  on offer:

* Monthly On-line Portal date

Meditations via Zoom 1/1 ;2/2; 3/3; 4/4; 5/5; 6/6; 7/7; 8/8; 9/9; 10/10; 11/11; 12/12

Can pay-as-you-go  R220 pm


For enquiries

WhatsApp+27827881413

info@portalofalchemy.com


Namaste

Fiona van Rensburg

#internationalintuitiveempathenergyhealer #spirituallifecoachandadvisor

#transformerofpeopleslives #alchemist #starseed #wayshower


”Energetically helping you release unwanted emotions, so you can live a joyful and fulfilled life"

"Heal your past, live in the NOW and dream your future "

"When you change the way you look at things the things you look at changes" Wayne Dyer


Kindly forward to anyone whom you think can benefit by what I have to offer.

Thanking you in advance


For more information

www.portalofalchemy.com

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Visit my website for more information, my services and more testimonials www.portalofalchemy.com or WhatsApp me on 082 788 1413 for more information or make your booking https://calendly.com/portal-of-alchemy