Copy
Logo

Articles to Guide you

How to deal with Drama in your life?

By Fiona van Rensburg (Portal of Alchemy)



The drama triangle is a social model developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman to describe dysfunctional social interactions and relationships. The triangle consists of three roles: the persecutor, the victim, and the rescuer. We participate in various drama triangles with various people in our life. Have a look at it and see which roles you play and in which circumstance you feel like this. In the end I give you examples of how to change this, so that you can liberate yourself from the drama playing out and change ultimately change the outcomes. First we need to become aware, then we change the way we participate and then we see the results for ourselves. As Gandhi says “be the change you want in the world.”


Let us look at the types in each drama triangle


The persecutor is the person who blames “it is your fault”, is critical and judgmental, argumentative, lashes out or attacks others, generally seen as a bully. They may be bossy and use verbal or physical aggression to dominate and intimidate and uses guilt to control others. Makes victim feel helpless. They are driven by anger and resentment. They are rigid in their thinking. “Me first” attitude. It is important for them to be right.


The victim is the person who feels helpless, powerless, incapable or oppressed. They may feel like they are being unfairly treated or are unable to change their situation. The feel ashamed. They tend to be in situations where they are dependent on others. They seek a rescuer as they feel they can’t solve problems or make decisions to help themselves. They have a “poor me” attitude, self pity. They tend to avoid responsibility and view self as lesser than others.


The rescuer is the person who intervenes to help the victim or solve the problem. They may do so out of a genuine desire to help or a need to feel important. They appear to be over-helpful, which could lead to becoming the enabler and can be a Martyr. They keep the victim dependent. They feel responsible for others. They make sacrifices for others and discounts personal needs. They see themselves as rescuers. They feel guilt when problems cannot be solved. Rescuing creates a sense of being capable.


The drama triangle is called a triangle because the roles are interconnected and can shift between the three positions. For example, the victim may become the persecutor by blaming or attacking the rescuer. The rescuer may become the victim by feeling overwhelmed or unappreciated. And the persecutor may become the rescuer by intervening to solve the problem they created.


The drama triangle is considered dysfunctional because it can perpetuate negative and unproductive behaviors and emotions. It can also create codependent relationships, where people rely on each other's dysfunction to feel needed or validated. To break the cycle of the drama triangle, individuals must recognize their role in the dynamic and take steps to change their behavior and communication style.



The first step in evolving from the Drama Triangle is to become aware of when you are playing one of the roles. Notice when you feel victimized, when you're blaming others or when you're trying to rescue someone else.


Take responsibility for your own feelings: Instead of blaming others or trying to rescue them, take responsibility for your own feelings and reactions. Recognize that you have control over your own thoughts and emotions, and that you can choose how to respond to a situation.


Set healthy boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries with others. This means being clear about what you will and will not tolerate, and communicating your boundaries in a calm and assertive way.


Practice empathy and compassion: Instead of trying to rescue others, practice empathy and compassion. Try to understand where they are coming from and what they are feeling, and offer support and encouragement without taking on their problems.


Focus on solutions: Instead of getting caught up in the drama of the situation, focus on finding solutions. Look for ways to resolve the conflict and move forward in a positive direction.


Seek professional help: If you're having trouble breaking free from the Drama Triangle, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can help you identify patterns in your behavior and provide you with tools and strategies to help you break free from the cycle of drama and negativity.



How do you evolve from rescuer in drama triangle


If you find yourself constantly playing the rescuer role in the Drama Triangle, here are some steps you can take to evolve from it:


Recognize when you are rescuing: The first step in evolving from the rescuer role is to become aware of when you are doing it. Notice when you feel the need to help others to the point where it becomes a burden for you.


Acknowledge your motivations: Take some time to reflect on why you feel the need to rescue others. Is it because you feel responsible for their happiness or well-being? Do you feel like you need to prove your worth by helping others? Understanding your motivations can help you start to make changes.


Learn to say "no": It's important to learn to set boundaries and say "no" when you feel like you're being asked to take on too much. This can be difficult, but it's necessary in order to avoid burnout and maintain your own mental and emotional health.


Encourage self-reliance: Instead of rescuing others, try to encourage self-reliance. Offer support and guidance, but encourage others to take responsibility for their own lives and decisions.


Focus on your own needs: Make sure you're taking care of yourself first. It's important to prioritize your own needs and well-being, so that you have the strength and energy to support others in a healthy way.


The evolution of the rescuer is to become the COACH with clear support. Say “I care about you and I know you are capable”. Don’t do for others what they can do for themselves. Be willing to listen without taking on other peoples problems and pain. Set boundaries that reflect your limitations. Take care of your needs. Listen to you gut. Offer compassion over solutions. Support instead of rescue. Help only when asked to. Allow others to think and do for themselves.


Seek support: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you identify any underlying issues that may be driving your need to rescue others and provide you with strategies to break free from the rescuer role.


How do you evolve from the persecutor in the drama triangle


If you find yourself playing the persecutor role in the Drama Triangle, here are some steps you can take to evolve from it:


Recognize when you are persecuting: The first step in evolving from the persecutor role is to become aware of when you are doing it. Notice when you are blaming, criticizing, or attacking others.


Acknowledge the impact of your behavior: Take responsibility for the impact your behavior has on others. Recognize that your actions may be contributing to the drama and negativity in the situation.


Practice empathy and compassion: Instead of attacking or blaming others, try to practice empathy and compassion. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand where they are coming from.


Communicate in a healthy way: Instead of using aggression or blame, try to communicate in a healthy way. Use "I" statements to express how you feel, and listen actively to the other person's perspective.


Take a break: If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated, take a break. Step away from the situation for a few minutes to calm down and collect your thoughts.


The evolution from persecutor is to become the CHALLENGER with clear structure. Communicate assertively and express thoughts and feelings and ideas without becoming overbearing. Set boundaries. Be an active listener. Ask questions instead of ordering and blaming. Be accountable for yourself. Make expectations clear. Don’t threaten people to get your way. Collaborate and consider the other.


Seek professional help: If you're having trouble breaking free from the persecutor role, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can help you identify the underlying issues that may be driving your behavior and provide you with strategies to change it.



How does one evolve from victim role in drama triangle


If you find yourself playing the victim role in the Drama Triangle, here are some steps you can take to evolve from it:


Recognize when you are playing the victim: The first step in evolving from the victim role is to become aware of when you are doing it. Notice when you feel helpless, powerless, or trapped.


Take responsibility for your own life: Instead of blaming others for your problems, take responsibility for your own life. Recognize that you have the power to make changes and take action to improve your situation.


Focus on solutions: Instead of dwelling on your problems, focus on finding solutions. Look for ways to improve your situation, and take action to make positive changes.


Build your self-esteem: Work on building your self-esteem and confidence. Recognize your own strengths and abilities, and celebrate your successes.


Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Practice self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time with supportive friends and family.


The evolution from victim is to become the SURVIVOR/THIVER with problem solving. State what you need and want and take action to more forward. Keep agreements and follow through with your commitments. Dispute your old thinking and ask yourself about the healthy way of getting what you want. Acknowledge your strengths and make note of your progress. Reflect on your strengths. Appreciate your uniqueness and accept yourself for being you. Ask for support, not rescuing.


Seek professional help: If you're having trouble breaking free from the victim role, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can help you identify any underlying issues that may be contributing to your behavior and provide you with tools and strategies to break free from the cycle of victimization.


If you are guided then come for a session and I will assist you on your journey.


Love and light

Fiona van Rensburg

Emotional Healer, Transformational Coach, Intuitive Empath Energy Healer and Metaphysical Teacher

What to expect when I book for a quantum conversation session with Fiona

I’m based in Pinetown, Durban, KZN for in-person sessions Google Maps link:

https://goo.gl/maps/FoLFB6XvAkcwTo3D8


Individual sessions on offer:

* Quantum Conversations & Spiritual Guidance

* Couple's Spiritual Counselling

* Alchemy Healing

* Chakra balancings / Reiki

* Past life regression healing

* Hypnotherapy and journey work

* Spiritual Development Program


Group work  on offer:

* Monthly On-line Portal date

Meditations via Zoom 1/1 ;2/2; 3/3; 4/4; 5/5; 6/6; 7/7; 8/8; 9/9; 10/10; 11/11; 12/12

Can pay-as-you-go  R220 pm


For enquiries

WhatsApp+27827881413

info@portalofalchemy.com


Namaste

Fiona van Rensburg

#internationalintuitiveempathenergyhealer #spirituallifecoachandadvisor

#transformerofpeopleslives #alchemist #starseed #wayshower


”Energetically helping you release unwanted emotions, so you can live a joyful and fulfilled life"

"Heal your past, live in the NOW and dream your future "

"When you change the way you look at things the things you look at changes" Wayne Dyer


Kindly forward to anyone whom you think can benefit by what I have to offer.

Thanking you in advance


For more information

www.portalofalchemy.com

List of benefits from a chakra balancing

Client testimonials

Testimonials. What our clients say about our services

Over the years I've helped so many clients, here are some of just a few of the comments my clients had to say.

Visit my website for more information, my services and more testimonials www.portalofalchemy.com or WhatsApp me on 082 788 1413 for more information or make your booking https://calendly.com/portal-of-alchemy