>> How strong is the voice of your inner critic?
>> Find out what it’s trying to tell you…
The inner critic is the voice of “judge” that’s constantly finding fault in ourselves, others or a situation. It’s punishing and authoritative and can leave us feeling insecure and down on ourselves.
So, how do we manage the inner critic?
Contrary to common advice which suggests getting rid of the inner critic, Dr Richard Schwartz suggests an alternative view. Instead of seeing it as an internal enemy and beating ourselves up about it, he suggests that we befriend and get to know it. The idea here is to recognise that the inner critic is one of many “sub-personalities” and its function is to protect us. However, as we develop, different parts of our personality can become overly expressed or maladaptive. In the case of a persistent inner critic, it can become more harmful than helpful.
The next time you hear the inner critic with thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “what’s wrong with me,” “I should know better,” become curious and find out what it’s trying to tell you. Some questions to ask:
What are its fears?
What does it need?
How can I address these needs?
Keep asking questions and see what comes up. The more you lean in and get to know your inner critic, the more you’ll be able to reason with it, negotiate and partner in a more supportive way.
And while you’re making friends with this part of yourself, invite your “inner nurturer” to the party!
Dial up on some loving kindness..
Self- Reflection: What does it mean in this moment to be kind?
