In November 2019, I taught a Saturday afternoon yoga workshop for sexual assault survivors in Rochester, New York.

During one of our workshop breaks, a student came up to me and asked: "What advice do you have for my boyfriend? He wants to know how to support my healing process."

I was taken aback. I get so many questions from survivors about how trauma impacts our minds, bodies, spirits... But this one, this question about partnership, was new to me.

I don't remember what advice I gave this student... but I do remember that when I got back home, I asked my wife for her advice. After years of sticking with me through the ups and downs of PTSD and healing, I thought she'd be a good source of wisdom. 

So I said to her: "What advice would you give for someone whose partner is working through trauma?" 

Her answer was simple and clear: "Be patient."

Her words have stuck with me over the years. Now, more than ever, as I parent a three-year-old while caring for myself and my marriage, I understand that love is patient.

Infinitely, maddeningly, gently patient.

If you’re interested in exploring questions around healthy love and partnership, you’re welcome to join my upcoming Second Sunday Workshop.

With Love (and Sometimes Patience),