The girl isn't dead, she's just sleeping.

Several years ago, I started walking out the dream in my heart for a global good news magazine and founded a small website called globalgirlnetwork. I sent out a bi-weekly newsletter with stories and articles about my heart--and I imagined God's heart--for the world. On the Thursdays when I wasn’t sending out globalgirl updates, I sent out prayer directives on human trafficking. It was at a time when few in our neck of the woods were talking about human trafficking and it felt like our prayers were piercing and awakening something deep.
 
Then our third, my son Shay, was born. Many nights I remember falling asleep on my computer only to wake up around 3am and then pushing through and finishing up the prayer directives, so tired, but tenaciously committed to the cause. Then one day I was standing in the shower, quietly crying because I felt so overwhelmed and tired. I remember saying to Jesus, This is not fun any more. 
 
I don’t imagine a life with God always being fun, but I do know Jesus says, My yoke is easy and my burden is light. That day I realized the yoke I’d been carrying was feeling heavy and cumbersome. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. So, as much as I loved what I was doing, I stopped everything outside of motherhood.
 
It was time to recuperate, heal and rest. I’d burned out. I was in the throes of three little ones at home and I relished the freedom to just enjoy my children, not having to “save the world” at the same time. There were days I just sat with God in my favourite green chair. I started waking up early, so I could have a quiet moment in the day. Slowly I began writing in my journal again.
 
Then that summer, about a year after I’d quit working the dream, I had an actual dream. The kind you have in your sleep. A good friend spoke to me in that dream, the words penetrating the fatigue and disappointment that still lay heavy in my spirit and said, “Don’t let the dream die.”
 
Don’t let the dream die. Really? I didn't think the dream had life in it yet, but I decided to hold on to it.
 
I carried on with my mommy life and over the months, some fresh words were shaping in my heart. I sensed a theme rising up through the writing in my journal and I asked a small group of friends if they would talk with me through some material I’d been thinking on. I called our evenings together “Gathering Eve.” That September the amazing Helen Burns, my pastor at Relate Church, asked if I could share this message with our women at Relate Women. I stepped out and loved the challenge and the joy of sharing what was on my heart. After that season, I got to travel with a few girlfriends to the Colour Sisterhood Conference in  Sydney, Australia. I remember searching my heart during worship and teaching times--perhaps looking for a fresh assignment--asking God: What am I meant to do? What are You calling me to, Lord?
 
Then one day, in worship with thousands of women gathered, I remember this awareness: You know what you’re supposed to do.
 
I did know.
 
I came back from Australia and said, Ok. Perhaps not as enthusiastically as I did many many years earlier when I first heard the words “global good news magazine” sitting on a tiled floor in Taipei. I now knew the cost. But I also knew I couldn’t walk away and be truly fulfilled. I knew I would always wonder about that dream. And I trusted my Creator.

I'd also learned valuable lessons in the failure.
 
I wrote up a vision and shared the dream with Helen in her office one day, tears streaming down my face. The dream felt tender and raw. It was alive. Helen listened and recognized it as precious. It worked with so much we believed together for womanhood and what we sensed God was wanting to shape in us as sisterhood. She said, Yes! Let’s do it! About a month later, we launched SheLovesmagazine.com

I am so thankful Spirit didn't allow me to let the dream die. I am thankful for a sisterhood that's rising. I read Mark 5 and I know, This daughter isn't dead, she's only sleeping. 
 
I share this story, because our theme for this month, is AWAKE. Please come join the conversation this month. I imagine it as drawing up our chairs and bringing our stories and whole selves to the circle. My heart would be that we would each ask:
 
- God, is there any part of me that needs to be woken up?
- Where am I still asleep?
- Is there a dream in my heart that needs to be resurrected?
- What do You want me to wake up to?
 
A quote that speaks to so much of what I believe around our awakening, is this Chinese proverb:

"When sleeping women wake, mountains move."


 
I want to see more mountains moving on our earth, as we walk and pray and give and stand together. I can’t even contain myself in thinking what will happen when each one of us is awake to our purpose and God’s heart for justice on the earth. I hope you’d join us.
 
We also have some pretty exciting events and opportunities coming up this month:
 
I. Wrecked with Jeff Goins: Sept 12 at 12pm (PST)
On September 12, we are gathering with Jeff Goins on shindig.com to talk about his new book, Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life. Imagine gathering in a virtual library or living room with Jeff to ask him our questions and discuss what happens when our hearts get wrecked. (So perfect with our theme of “Awake.” We also get to give away 25 copies of Jeff’s book this month.
 
II. We will also feature three fantastic new books plus giveaways this month:
- Contributor Emily Wierenga’s new book, Chasing Silhouettes: How to help a loved one battling an eating disorder
- Inciting Incidents: 6 Stories of Fighting Disappointment in a Flawed World, by Sarah Cunningham with Mandy Thompson, Tracee Persiko, Blaine Hogan and others.
- The Year of Biblical Womanhood, by our eloquent sis Rachel Held Evans
 
III. Synchroblog: We will host a synchroblog on Tuesday, September 25 where we can all share our stories of awakening, a-ha moments from the month and what we’ve learned. From all your contributions, we’ll pick ONE POST to feature as our wrap-up of the month, on Saturday, September 29.
 
I am so looking forward to talking with you this month, sharing our hearts, words, tweets, emails, prayers and facebook statuses. If you would like to connect, please email me at shelovesmagazine @ gmail . com
 
With Love,
@idelette
xoxo
 
Founding Editor of SheLoves magazine.com + global citizen + immigrant + Mama of 3 + wife of 1 + daugter of the One.