Expectations got the better of me this last month.
Even though I was not explicitly aware of them, I had expectations about everything in my life. I was forced to notice this when most of them weren't being met. This created at times sharp, interesting, crazy, painful, funny, or strange contrasts. And left me feeling mostly dazed or confused.
So, are expectations bad? Is the answer to learn how to live without expectations? Is this even possible?
I would say not quite and that it is all about nuances.
Expectations have been a great teacher: They show me how much I still live with preference and attachment. They highlight the all too familiar trap of "I will be happy when ...". They also revealed that a part of me is still holding on to the belief that "life is a problem to be solved rather than a mystery to be experienced". They have helped shrink my ego, leaving me in the more humbled, authentic space of “I don’t know.”
Thanks to synchronicity, I came across this quote by Abraham Hicks just in time for this post:
"We come out of eagerness to be deliberate creators, to discover what we prefer, to discover our own power of flowing energy and hook into energy that creates worlds. To let the energy that creates worlds flow through our fingertips, towards our creative endeavors, to uplift others, to find more contrast, to launch more rockets of desire, to recognize when we’re not yet in alignment, have the thrill of coming back into alignment, and to experience the manifestation of our desire. But it is the journey to those manifestations that rings our bells, that rang our bell before we came, that rings our bells while we are here. It’s about the journey. And it is a never ending journey." - Abraham Hicks
After reading this, it seems that expectations can be part of the process of 1) "launching rockets of desire” (what you expect, hope, desire, dream), 2)“finding contrast” (the disappointment when they are not met) as well as 3) “highlighting when we are not in alignment”.
The question  is not how to live without expectations, but rather how to let go of the attachment to the expectations… As Abraham Hicks describes, it’s not only about creating desires, dreams, and expectations in life but also, importantly, about launching/releasing them.
How? Read my “Notes to Self” on how I plan to work with expectations in the future in my latest blog post.
(Illustration by Mary Burr)
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