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~There are times when just a few words can’t do justice to the topic at hand. This week is one of those times.~
Sometimes life gives us something that forces us to go beyond what is familiar and comfortable…something that puts us face to face with our edge. It is when we are standing at that edge that we are required to choose whether or not we will take the risk of stepping over.
My seventy-four year old mother has been facing her edges ever since my dad was diagnosed in July of 2015 with the cancer that ended his life five short months later. She stepped across some of these edges so quickly and with such beauty and grace, it was easy to forget they used to stop her right in her tracks. Other edges actually did stop her…but only momentarily so she could assess them before she slowly and steadily stepped over. And yes, there were edges that just seemed too challenging for her…but to our amazement, it was not very long at all before she approached every one of them again and stepped over them anyway.
“Chub,” my dad, was a very independent and strong-willed man, and when his body began to fail him my mom, Darlene, was faced with the possibility of offending his strong sense of self in order to best care for him. Still, many times each day and night she gently smoothed the rough edges of that possibility and quietly took the risk. By doing so, Mom became more and more independent and Dad became more able to accept the help he needed.
Although Mom had her driver’s license, throughout their 55 years of marriage my dad did nearly all of the driving. Mom, however, did start to drive more in the months before Dad died, but almost never beyond their hometown of Shakopee. This past October, though, still never having driven through the Twin Cities, Mom was faced with driving herself up to Barnum or missing her grandson Reuben’s performance at his school’s Grandparents’ Day. After much deliberation and trepidation, my mom got behind the wheel and made the 143 mile trip by herself! She risked facing her fear in order to express her love.
It was also in October, when Mom faced one of the most challenging edges of her life. After months of going over the pros and cons, the risks and chances, the fears and joys…Mom sold the home that she and Dad had lived in for years…the home where they graciously entertained family and friends together…the home where they diligently tended their beautiful gardens together…the home where they courageously journeyed through Dad’s death together. My brave and independent mother sold her home and didn’t even use the services of a realtor...then she packed up and moved into her very own apartment!
I am in awe of my mother and more dedicated than ever to recognizing and stepping over my edges. What about you?
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