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 November 1, 2020
Dear Friends,
One of the points I make in my book Near the Exit: Travels with the Not-So-Grim Reaper is that in order to live fully, people should think about death more often. Thanks, 2020, for reinforcing that message! I must say I wasn't expecting you to take my advice so literally.
It's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it? In my own life, the year began with the death of my ninety-year-old mother and the mortality theme has continued ever since thanks to Covid-19. I'm sure you've felt the effects of the pandemic too. With its deaths, illnesses, quarantines, job losses, political strife, and social isolation, this plague has affected everyone.
All of this gives the Day of the Dead holiday added poignancy and resonance this year. And it's made me think about what the pandemic has taught me that I hadn't already learned from researching and writing a book about mortality.
The lesson I keep coming back to is gratitude. It's something I didn't fully appreciate when I attended the Day of the Dead festival in Chicago that I describe in the prologue of my book. But looking back now, I can see how those altars filled with memorabilia, foods, and photos of lost loved ones were overflowing with gratitude. There was sadness, yes, but the predominant emotion was thanksgiving for the life of a loved one, whether it was a teenager who died way too young or a family elder who lived to a hundred.
That's what the Day of the Dead parties are about too, the ones that take place in cemeteries. When we're grateful, we celebrate--and if an undercurrent of sadness threads through our laughter that just makes the occasion all the more meaningful.
Maybe we can extend this lesson to this often-miserable year, because amid the losses of 2020 have been blessings. That's certainly true for me. Between camping and hiking and entertaining in our backyard, I've enjoyed the outdoors more than I ever have before. I've rejoiced in being back in a swimming pool after months away. I've been secretly happy to have my adult kids worry about me (it's not a bad thing to realize your parents are mortal). I've even been grateful, grudgingly, for Zoom, which is better than not meeting at all.
I've been thinking, too, about all the cemetery walks I've taken where I've seen a row of markers of family members who died within a short time of each other. You have to go to the older sections of graveyards to see this pattern, back to a time before vaccines and antibiotics, when a family could lose several children, or both parents, within a couple of weeks. One of the oldest and most universal of human experiences is infectious disease. Before Covid, I think many of us knew that abstractly, but now we know it viscerally.
What we're rediscovering, oh-so-painfully, is that much of life is beyond our control. No matter how virtuous we are, how well we eat or vigorously we exercise, mortality is always our silent companion.
So in this month that is bookended by holidays based on gratitude (at least in the U.S. where we celebrate Thanksgiving), I hope you can find some golden nuggets hidden in the muck of this year. As the woods turn brown, the temperature falls, and the nights lengthen, this is a good time to reflect on the fact that we often feel most grateful not when times are easy, but when they are hard.
May you find gratitude in the midst of trials, in the midst of death, in the midst of worry. We will get through this time. Have faith in the return of the light.
And let me leave you with the wise words of the medieval mystic and theologian Meister Eckhart: "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘Thank you’ that would be enough.”
Blessings to you this Day of the Dead--
Lori
(photo from Chicago's Day of the Dead celebration by Bob Sessions)
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 Recommended Reading:
Broke and depressed, John Kralik spent a year writing a thank you note each day. 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life describes what happened next.
In Becca Anderson's The Buddha's Guide to Gratitude: The Life-Changing Power of Every Day Mindfulness learn why being thankful is one of the four keys to the Gate of Heaven.
Edited by Jeremy Smith, Kira Newman, Jason Marsh, and Dacher Keltner, The Gratitude Project: How the Science of Thankfulness Can Rewire Our Brains for Resilience, Optimism, and the Greater Good looks at how gratitude can increase well-being in measurable ways.
 Recommended Listening:
Author Mary Swander, former poet laureate of Iowa and a writer who often explores spiritual themes in her work, has a delightful new podcast, AgArts from Horse and Buggy Land. In it she explores life among the Amish and arts and agriculture in the wider rural community. Start with Drive-In Church Services for a funny and insightful look at how churches are coping with Covid, from the Amish to the Catholics. Added bonus: bluegrass music by Bob and Kristie Black.
Book Updates:
 Near the Exit: Travels with the Not-So-Grim Reaper is about places that have helped me come to terms with mortality. Foreword Reviews gave it a silver award for best religion book of 2019, calling it "an ideal guidebook for facing the inevitable,"
My previous book Holy Rover: Journeys in Search of Mystery, Miracles, and God is a memoir told through trips to a dozen holy sites around the world. According to author River Jordan: “Reading Holy Rover is like hitting the lotto of a road-trip with Anne Lamott, Barbara Brown Taylor, and Elizabeth Gilbert—one filled with intoxicating conversations, exciting discoveries, and plenty of spiritual rule-breaking.”
 For a full list of reviews, awards, and media coverage for both these titles, see my Lori Erickson website.
And if you've read and enjoyed either of my books, I hope you'll write a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Your review will help other readers discover my work.
 Upcoming Event:
I'll be leading a socially distanced Day of the Dead memorial walk at Harvest Preserve in Iowa City at 3 p.m. on November 1.
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