As 2020 comes to an end, I feel two conflicting sentiments:
• I need to process everything.
• I just want to zone out.
Maybe you are feeling similar. It’s not surprising if conflicting emotions come up during this time. It’s been a year of loss, grief and disruption. But in many ways it’s also been a year of appreciation, slowing down, identifying our real priorities and unearthing important questions.
It’s been a year of duality.
I’ve been physically apart from people for most of this year.
I’ve also been so closely connected to my family and to so many online.
I’ve been felt so much uncertainty about my future.
I’ve also experienced a crystal clear clarity in some areas of my life that I’ve never had before.
I also realize that 2020 may not conclude have the closure we would like to have. We may not be able to put a nice bow tie at the end of the year and package it up nicely. We live in a society that is obsessed with finding clarity and seeking immediate answers to uncomfortable questions.
And this year has unearthed an abundance of uncomfortable but necessary questions. Questions on racism, death, illness, politics, protecting the earth, our literal existence, and how we can continue caring for each in a world that has forced us to be physically apart.
The questions that have come to the surface in 2020 may be challenging, but they also prove that we are coming towards transformation. Because it is the quality of our inquiry that leads to the quality of our discovery.
“Questions are powerful things. Questions elicit answers in their likeness. It’s hard to respond to a simplistic question with anything but a simplistic answer; it’s hard to rise above a combative question. But its hard to resist a generous question. We can ask questions that inspire dignity and honest, and revelation.” -Krista Tippett
I hope these words offer some solace to you as the calendar year of 2020 comes to an end. I hope you can give yourself permission to take time to arrive into 2021. To not have to demand too much but also have space to stubbornly hold on to hope.
May the questions of this year that have once challenged you, begin to feel like old friends that are beckoning you to a higher truth. May you live into these deeper questions and may they eventually lead you to a generous answer.
Happy new year, friends.
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