Caroline writes about a fun workshop she facilitated on feedback, and a new way she's organizing her time.
Hello friends, it’s been a long time, again…
Despite my determination last year to write more often and share what I’m working on and learning about leadership as a coach and facilitator, finding time to send out these notes regularly has been challenging for me. This month, I’m starting this note on my plane ride home from a work trip in Orlando. I’m curious to see how far I can get!
Amerigo
My client for the Orlando engagement was Amerigo Education, a Chicago-based company that helps international students achieve a successful study abroad experience in North American high schools by providing tools, resources, and support. I’ve done four different engagements with Amerigo so far, and I’ve come to truly enjoy working with this energetic, diverse group of education experts and professionals. Their “student first” mindset really touches me. Look at this adorable group of folks!
Amerigo operations team leaders
The workshop and conversation I facilitated for the Amerigo team were on giving and receiving feedback, adapting the Radical Candor framework. Throughout the session, I integrated examples and practice scenarios drawn from both my clients’ experiences and my own professional journey. I have given a lot of unclear, unhelpful feedback in my lifetime because I tend to fall into the “ruinous empathy” category if I am not actively trying to be direct and clear. You can read more about the Radical Candor framework in my January 2021 notes or check out the book, Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott.
My favorite practice round included a scenario in which your direct report starts crying after you’ve delivered tough feedback (Are you cringing yet?). The scenario inspired a hilarious and nail-biting performance by two volunteers. I’m such a dork for enjoying these sessions so much. Haha.
Mediation Resources?
Even though my true professional love is one-on-one executive coaching, I allocate some of my time to exploring opportunities for growth and evolution in my practice. When clients propose new ways for me to assist them beyond coaching, I try to embrace the chance to experiment and expand my horizons by saying "yes" to these areas of work. Through this kind of experimentation, I learned that I am a terrible consultant (please do not hire me as a consultant for anything!) and stopped working on such projects altogether after just two engagements. On the other hand, I have come to really enjoy facilitating team offsites, leadership workshops for teams, and important, often difficult, conversations.
Earlier this year, I was invited to facilitate a series of mediation conversations for two colleagues in conflict. Before we began, both were aware that I was not a trained mediator. However, based on our previous collaboration during a team engagement last year, they believed I could assist them effectively through this challenging period. I aimed to create a safe space, set ground rules, encourage open sharing without judgment, and remain open to exploring new ways of working together. Having guided a few similar conversations in the past, I think I would love to learn how to support better work relationships like this.
I’m already taking classes in Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC), which helped me with this recent engagement, but I would love to explore other resources as well. If you have any courses, books, or other recommendations, please let me know.
Brian Little was Adam Grant’s professor in college, and the rapport between the former teacher and pupil was just lovely. The part of the episode I found intriguing was how our personal projects can shape our well-being. As someone who’s got an ever-growing list of things I have to do and things I would like to do, I was interested in learning about the five dimensions Little said we should look at when we are choosing personal projects that will contribute to our well-being.
Meaning- Are they enjoyable or consistent with your values? Do they express who you are?
Manageability- Will you be able to execute this project to completion based on your realities?
Connection to other people- Are others finding your project to be valuable? Are you contributing to others? Are you getting support from others?
Positive or negative effect- Is your project unrelentingly stressful or depleting to you? Or is your project adding to your feeling of positivity?
Cross impact- Is your project having a positive or negative impact on your “core” projects that are important to you (like your job, family, or creativity?)
For me, writing and sharing Caroline’s Notes at a regular cadence checks the boxes for meaning, connection to other people, a positive effect, and cross-impact. Manageability also works, as long as I can continue to be flexible with the cadence, but not so lax that I don’t write it at all. It’s a project that I hope to keep, as long as the benefits outweigh the manageability issue.
168 hours in a week
On a related note, did you already know that there are 168 hours in a week? I mean did you know it by heart, the way you know that there are 24 hours in a day or 365 days in a year?
Visualizing my time in this way on a spreadsheet and how doing more of one thing would take away any time left for a special project or self-care was new for me. Along with my existing “system” that combines daily morning pages or often just to-do lists, weekly lists, and monthly priorities lists, this is a new tool I will review and adjust every few months. I can see now that I do have 7 hours for sleep if I prioritize sleep, and I could indeed exercise 30 minutes each day if I really wanted to. It also means that I can make a few hours every couple of months to get these newsletters out. But that means on those weeks, I probably can’t go out to see friends for leisurely dinners, or I may need to skip exercise, or get behind in something else. Something really does have to give.
I think so many of us overestimate the actual number of hours available to us (“I’m just lazy. I do have time for one more thing, and that other thing too.”) or underestimate the time something will take (“It really won’t take that long.”) and when they fail to get something done, they experience shame and self-blame.
I made a simple Google sheet to list and calculate how much time I spend most weeks on my main activities and how much time might be left for other projects or activities. Let me know if you would like me to share the template with you.
January of this year marked my 10th year of relaunching my career as a coach. I can’t believe it.
In celebration of ten years of coaching, I’ve started to reach out to some of my earliest clients to thank them and to check-in. Without getting too sentimental here, a genuine “thank you” is in order for every single person reading this for trusting me with this kind of deep work even when I don’t always know what to do, introducing me to so many individuals and organizations I can help, and teaching me both what to do and what not to do over the years.
As part of my thanks, I would like to gift three one-on-one coaching sessions to the first reader (according to my inbox) who expresses interest. Former and current clients are also eligible!
I plan on announcing a gift like this with each new issue of Caroline’s Notes throughout the year, so please be on the lookout.
In case you are wondering, it’s been two full weeks since I got off that airplane home from Orlando. Haha. Everything really takes so much longer than I think. Thanks for reading to the end, and please let me know what you are up to!
Warmest regards,
Caroline
P.S. Oh, I’ve finally finished updating my website. I hope you will share what you like and what you want to see changed in future editions of the website. For now, I’m just happy not to see that dreaded “coming soon” message on the site!
